Scenes from the Anarchist Jurisdiction of Seattle

Published September 28, 2020
✨🎸Wendi Dunlap 👩🏼‍🎤✨ on Twitter: "A few years ago, my hometown was  called a "socialist hellhole" by Fox News. Now it's an "anarchist  jurisdiction." Keep up the good work, Seattleites! (I made

Son Cow writes over on the Book of Face:

You may have heard about Seattle’s desperate plunge into anarchy, and with a heavy heart I have to confirm it is true; I just had to do a roughly nine point turn to get my minivan out of our driveway because cars were parked close to it AND a car was parked on the other side of the street. This is not my city any more, it has been overrun by brutish interlopers. Write your representatives, I am looking into fundraising options to clamp down on this violent lawlessness.

Also, after my nine point turn, I had to go drive by that one Taco Time that I’m pretty sure used to be a bank, based on the building’s architecture, and if THAT’S not anarchy, I don’t know what it is.

Comments:

Me: Get a Nerf gun NOW! Protect your family!

Reader 2: It truly is anarchy here — today the neighbor’s dogs were yapping way more than usual, and when I was walking along the sidewalk, I saw a couple cars barrel down our street at what looked like at least 10 over the speed limit. I just don’t know how much longer we can continue to live like this without benevolent government intervention.

Reader 3: I listened today through my open window to a kid across the street have a massive meltdown for 10 straight minutes. Our city government has lost complete control. Oh the horror! Oh the inhumanity! Total anarchy!

Reader 4: It’s madness!! I was picking up Red Robin for Judah’s bday dinner and my BOGO coupon totally did not work! THEN a butt-ton of crows started descending on the new hockey arena at Northgate… it was insane. Our city is in tatters! If we forsake BOGOs and allow murders of crazed crows, what will be left for future generations?!

It’s been rather cool and wet here. I’ve enjoyed some pleasant walks. Mass was nice. As post-apocalyptic hellscapes go, Seattle is quite lovely this time of year.

12 Responses

  1. “Someone needs to plot the correlation between anarchist jurisdictions and the presence of really excellent microbreweries, because at first glance it seems to be really high.” – John Scalzi

  2. Meanwhile, down here in our NON-anarchy jurisdiction, my inlaws have been evacuated because of the Shady Fire reaching Sonoma, and now they’re staying with us. After being able to breathe down here in the SF Bay Area (it was SOO NICE! I REALLY appreciate clean air, now), it looks like we’re facing another apocalypse-orange sky.

    1. Oh, and rather than a nice “yay, Gramma and Grandpa are here!” family stay, they are staying in our apartment downstairs and waving at us from a distance. My father-in-law is a cancer survivor and is, consequently, immune-compromised. His doctors have said that COVID-19 would certainly be a death sentence for him.

    2. There are pictures of Breona on telephone poles and store windows all over town here. We are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Oakland is just a hop and a skip away, and we know they have it out for our NIMBY hind ends.

      When Mark wrote that it’s been damp and cool in Seattle, my heart skipped a beat. I can’t think of anything more lovely than that right now!

      Yesterday, my son and his Dad were having a lively conversation over lunch, when from one moment to the next it suddenly occurred to me that our clear blue sky from the day before was dull and smudged again. Shortly thereafter we gathered to watch an impressive landing by a Cal Fire helicopter in a field next to the bay, for a refueling event by a waiting fire truck.

      I have grown accustomed to Googling “Is there a fire in ______?”

      “Cool and damp” seems to get pushed back into November these days. Halloween night used to be the great transition to fall here. I’m told we can’t even escape fire to OR or WA anymore. We may need to become Canadians.

      In other news, one of my sons finally came up to vacate his house in SF. He hasn’t lived there since March. The leasing company refused to let anybody out of their leases OR lower the rent–so all five housemates shook the dust from their sandals. He will still be writing his rent checks through November. San Francisco was long overdue for a rent riot, but this one has been quiet and orderly. who would have thought that the great reckoning would come this way? Our daughter bounces back and forth from both coasts for her job, and is thinking of Zooming from Tulum for the cold and covidy NY winter. I hear prices are down there too. The best advice on real estate is to take note of where the gay community is heading to. I learned that on Seinfeld years ago.

      1. It’s merely “moderate” right now, but the Glass Fire in Napa and Sonoma is still uncontained. I’m hoping it doesn’t get worse, and that the wind doesn’t bring that stuff south to here.

  3. Ben,
    Mark has been such a good boy lately. I will eventually buy his book because I know it is as true blue as the poor inhabitants of this planets get it, but right now I’m so basic.

    I miss you too! :). Thank you for being generous.

    1. I’ve been reading Mark’s book, on my Kindle – slowly because I can only spare a certain amount of time each day – but it is a wonderful book. I encourage you all – and particularly people who believe they have fundamental disagreements with Mark – to buy it and read it. Even if, having done so, you continue to disagree with Mark, at least make the effort to understand what you are disagreeing with. Blog posts are not enough.

Leave a Reply

Follow Mark on Twitter and Facebook

NEW BOOK!

Advertisement