MAGA Cultist: Forgiving all debts is unbiblical socialism!
Actual Bible: Every 50 years, have a year of Jubilee and forgive everybody’s debts. (cf. Leviticus 25:8–55)
MAGA Cultist: That’s the Old Testament. We are freed by grace from having to give a shit about anybody but ourselves and so we can ignore that part because we are not under the Law. Now we can be as greedy and selfish and merciless as we like and Jesus will forgive us and isn’t allowed to judge us because we decided “Once saved, always saved.” Besides, we do it because we care. The poor will get lazy if we help them not drown. It’s survival of the fittest, which we vaguely remember is probably in the Bible somewhere.
Jesus on the Last Day: “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord’ and not do what I say? Depart from me into the everlasting fires prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry, and you gave me nothing to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink. You know this.” (cf. Matthew 7:21–23; 25:31-46)
MAGA cultist: Doesn’t count! What matters is how personally charitable I am. If the state helps people it suppresses my natural saintliness by forcing me to help poor people. And what matters is that I get the credit for helping them, not that they get help. Because everything is all about Me. Besides, suppose I think they need to be punished for being unworthy of help? The state is taking away my power to hurt them. How is that fair?”
Jesus: Are you even listening to yourself?
MAGA Cultist: That poor guy owes me 50 cents out of my paycheck. I will not rest until he is punished for robbing me! Everything I have I earned! No way I go through the Pearly Gates into your Socialist Heaven until I get the Justice I DESERVE!
Jesus: There are multiple parables about this. Can you even hear yourself? Are you seriously demanding I give you what you deserve? You might want to rethink this.
MAGA Cultist: I WANT WHAT IS COMING TO ME! I WANT WHAT I EARNED WITH MY OWN HARD WORK AND WITH NO HELP FROM ANYBODY!
Satan: I hear you, dude! This is why I left this socialist dump a long time ago. We are holding a Stop the Steal rally at my place. Come and hang with your own kind and stop letting these libs persecute you for your faith.
MAGA cultist: Now you’re talking! Finally, somebody who cares about the feeling of Real Christians and hard-working Americans!
Jesus: Umm… I wouldn’t trust that guy if I were you.
MAGA cultist: Say, aren’t you the guy who told the Rich Young Man to redistribute his hard-earned wealth to a bunch of welfare queens? Thought as much. Not listening to your Fake Good News! Later, loser!
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One Response
The logic of MAGA is curious. If you refuse to give to the poor,you are actually helping them, by forcing them to be self reliant. Greed is good! The so called “religious leaders” of MAGA are con artists who tell people what they want to hear. They twist the Gospels to benefit the greedy.
The top three (3) billionaires have a greater aggregate net worth than the bottom half of the American people. That over 160 million people. Republicans tell us that this is a good thing. And fools believe them.