Biff Tannen Gives his American History Report to the Class

Dumb rich kid who promised the wimpy kid money for doing his homework and then always threatened to have his toadies beat him up when he asked for pay demonstrates his world-historical stupidity for audience of helpless captives called “America”. He is an idiot’s idea of a smart man, a fool’s idea of a wise man, a weak man’s idea of a strong man, an apostate’s idea of a devout man, and a coward’s idea of brave man. Never has such an unworthy wretch disgraced the Presidency.

19 Responses

  1. It was a choice between dying by laughing at the absolute stupidity, ignorance, and dumber-than-a-box-of-republican-rocks cluelessness on display, and dying listening to that walking finger nail across a chalkboard.

    I couldnt watch any more after 90 seconds. But i gave it my manly best.

      1. A minor but telling incident:
        1. Trump briefly mispronounces “Thailand” as “thigh” rather than “tie”, twice, then corrects himself shortly afterwards.
        2. Dinesh D’Souza https://twitter.com/DineshDSouza/status/1291564123545907200 rushes in to loyally defend his dark master, claiming that “in England, Australia and India” it is actually pronounced “thigh-land” (sub-text: you leftie whiners thought Trump made a gaffe but he’s actually much more cosmopolitan than you so-called cosmopolitans! Utterly pWned, lefties!)
        Well.
        I live in Australia, have so for a few decades.
        No one, literally no one, here says “Thigh-land”.
        Not even Pauline Hanson, who is our own antipodean version of Trump-merged-in-a-teleporter-accident-with-Michelle-Bachmann.

      2. Trump is not David, or even Cyrus (another one people like to compare him to). He’s more like Commodus, except more out of shape and more weaselly.

      3. @ workbeastie I would pay good money to watch this guy who can’t even manage a ramp fight a gladiator.

        That’s just how corrupt I am.

    1. When I first read D’Souza’s work, talking three decades ago, he seemed to have some content but these days he reminds me of that bespectacled clipboard fellow in “The Walking Dead” who dutifully carried out whatever frenzied orders The Governor issued that day.
      (Example: DDS’s “The End of Racism” is quoted – disagreeing, true, but as a respectable intellectual opponent – in “Asking the Law Question” by Margaret Davies, a left-wing critical legal feminist. Davies thought D’Souza was wrong about racism in the US but did not, at that time, view him as a Charles Murray to be no-platformed. Again, however, that was at least 20 years ago).

  2. Almighty and Eternal God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords: graciously turn your gaze to us who invoke You with confidence.

    Bless us, citizens of the United States of America; grant peace and prosperity to our Nation; illuminate those who govern us so that they may commit themselves to the common good, in respect for Your holy Law.

    Protect those who, defending the inviolable principles of the Natural Law and Your Commandments, must face the repeated assaults of the Enemy of the human race.

    Keep in the hearts of Your children courage for the truth, love for virtue and perseverance in the midst of trials.

    Make our families grow in the example that Our Lord has given us, together with His Most Holy Mother and Saint Joseph in the home of Nazareth; give to our fathers and mothers the gift of Strength, to educate wisely the children with which you have blessed them.

    Give courage to those who, in spiritual combat, fight the good fight as soldiers of Christ against the furious forces of the children of darkness.

    Keep each one of us, O Lord, in your Most Sacred Heart, and above all He whom Your Providence has placed at the head of our Nation.

    Bless the President of the United States of America, so that aware of his responsibility and his duties, he may be a knight of justice, a defender of the oppressed, a firm bulwark against Your enemies, and a proud supporter of the children of light.

    Place the United States of America and the whole world under the mantle of the Queen of Victories, our Unconquered Leader in battle, the Immaculate Conception. It is thanks to her, and through your Mercy, that the hymn of praise rises to you, O Lord, from the children whom you have redeemed in the Most Precious Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

    1. Easier than criticizing trump,

      Easier to talk about some unnamed and invisible servants of darkness instead of doing something about the Obviously Lying Ignoramus in the video, and the people who support him.

      As for bless the president, that thrice married, twice divorced unrepentant sinner Who is proud of sexual assault, that has conned you into thinking he he is some sort, any sort of a christian, and whose obvious sins you ignore?

      Here is the obvious. We elected Trump*. God sent a plague.

      *We did not. 80,000 people in three states who would not have objected if he shot someone on fifth avenue elected him.

      1. Good catch. The “children of light / children of darkness” made me think this was Vigano-inspired at least.

        What’s the deal with that schtick, anwyay? Aren’t we all children of God? Sheesh.

      2. @ workbeastie

        What’s the deal with that schtick, anyway?

        Apocalyptic chic. There’s a manuscript discovered at Qumran entitled “War of the Sons of Light Against the Sons of Darkness” (1st or 2nd century). Could be a source.

      3. @ workbeastie You’re right there’s zero evidence for inspiration from that Qumran find (hey wait a minute–Q, Qumran, COINCIDENCE?!). I was speculating. It probably has more to do with Fatima apocalypticism, anyway.

        It’s been a while since I’ve read Jamie Manson and was reminded of why I’ve always admired her. Thank you so much for the link!

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