Stumbling Toward Heaven
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One of the more unfortunate things in the past 20 years…
I’m afraid we have made the decision not to publish your submission in this journal. Several issues led us to this decision:
1) According to your own figures, the storm troopers fired 94 shots to kill 6 rebels: about 16:1 accuracy; while the rebels fired 67 shots to kill 3 storm troopers: about 22:1. That’s not a large difference. Are you supposing that over a great many engagements the difference might add up? If so then please submit data supporting this.
2) The storm troopers are clearly wearing more substantial body armor than the rebels. Could this factor account for the difference in kill rate, rather than firing accuracy? Please address this obvious question.
3) All of your data is derived from a single 20-second scene. The Star Wars-verse now consists of over 22 hours of cinema (nine central films, plus Rogue One and Solo). Please expand your data set.
We have standards at the Journal of Space Combat. Your submission, in its current state, does not measure up, though with further investigation and more careful analysis we may be inclined to accept a revised version at a future data. Thank you for your interest in our journal.
This wins the internet!
More proof that men and women think very differently.
The number of shots fired and their accuracy in a Star Wars movie is something most women aren’t capable of caring about, even if they wanted to. (Like baseball).
Women care about real stuff and drama.
George Lucas and I once dropped our kids off at the same time at Redwood High. He wasn’t driving as nice of a car as my son expected. Skywalker Ranch is located off of Lucas Valley Road, which happens to be a coincidence. George Lucas is currently in a fight with his neighbors over studio buildings he wanted to build on the property. Some say that he is getting back at his neighbors, (who were concerned about traffic) by donating the land to the county for low cost housing. Lucas claims that his donation was in no way a form of revenge, and comes only from the goodness of his heart.
Marin County religiously celebrates the Fifth of May by dressing as their favorite Stars Wars character. On that day people exuberantly wish each other well by saing, “may the force be with you!” It is probably the most closely observed religion with Buddhism in a fuzzy second due to the amount of Boomers who betray their age this way.
“celebrates the Fifth of May by dressing as their favorite Stars Wars character.”
I think you mean the fourth of May, which is Star Wars Day, because “may the fourth be with you.”
(Don’t groan or roll your eyes at me. I merely report.)
hahaha you are right!
At taco… I am afraid it is a different world than the one that you suppose. Several of my female friends are absolutely baseball crazy, just not as crazy as they are about football or basketball. my sister-in-law in Germany had to visit the football club of Barcelona when we were there a year and a half ago – a half a day in Barcelona spent watching boys pretend to be men who get paid a lot of money because all they do there is sell stuff with Barcelona on it.
By the way, this Boomer, when referred to as a boomer, says harumph and get off my lawn.
Ben. Ben. The Spanish men of Bartha and Real Madrid are the closest thing in my world to an occasion of sin.
Chubbo men in tights, with sticks who mostly stand around and spit a lot of amber colored liquid? No thank you.
I have observed these women who like baseball. It must be a gene.
I am a man. I am bored brainless by baseball, and I admit without shame I love THE GILMORE GIRLS. And STAR WARS.
Fifth of May is Cinco De Mayo. Kentucky Derby is also usually around that time. Lots of things going on that time of year!
Oh, i understand that! From one of mySpanish travelogues….
I just heard–and more importantly SAW–Pablo Sainz Villegas perform Rodrigo’s Concierto de Aranjuez. I have an album of his already, and I thought he was just a good-looking young man who played guitar well.
I was wrong. Damned, lying photographs!
He is beyond handsome, an unbelievably beautiful man in the Andalusian style that can take my breath away: onyx black hair, olive skin, and smoldering green eyes. Tall, slender, graceful and elegant of hand and gesture, he is a beautiful man even among a pride of such men, from a country that has far too many such men to be either real or healthy for me. The only time I’ve ever regretted whatever of my youth I might have misspent was when I’ve been in Spain, especially Andalusia.
I’m not claiming I wouldn’t have misspent it in Spain, either– only that I would have had better reasons for it. “Ma en Espana, en Espana…”
Oh heavens, I see what you mean. I should never ever live in Spain. It would be my undoing.
My husband plays Spanish love songs when he cooks. It’s like sensory overload. Last night he served me wine on the couch while he cooked pork chops with a reduction sauce, rice, vegetables and butternut pineapple chutney.
Totally my love language.
He played a song called “Te Mando Flores”. He loves most Latin American and Spanish music. Argentinians generally provoke him (and Mexicans that sing off key).
I’m glad you googled him. He is impossible to explain in words.
Your husband might like the songs of Ernesto Lecuona— cuban. “En una noche asi”. Lecuona is known, but under appreciated today.
He might also like the songs of Carlos Guastavino. More classically oriented, but still quite accessible. But he’s an argentinian. Don’t hold it against him. His songs are lovely. A Brazilian friend of mine had this to say about Argentinians: “they are all either Peronistas – or thieves.“ that was because the two Argentinians he was involved with were both. It sort of soured him.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing them. I will play them for him. He loves classical music too.
Following my own recommendation, I listen to one of my albums guastavino songs last night. Maybe it was just the selection, or maybe the mood I was in. But I had to say, they were quite wonderful and very, very Argentinian. I suspect your husband will really like them.
Today, I’m going to listen to my only album of Lecuona songs.
another reason I should never live in Spain
I can certainly see that. His castillian accent is charming. I walked out of that metro station once.
Too bad it’s so far away. I can’t live away from my kids. Three cities in Spain just made the top ten cities in the world for expats. SF is in the bottom 10. :(. Too expensive to live well.
My daughter’s Spanish godfather says that Americans live to work and Spaniards work to live. We shoulda worked in Tech!!–Oh wait, we did! For almost a decade and a half. –Were even part of a successful multi million dollar start up:( 🙁 :(. It’s not what it’s cracked up to be, and greed turns people you trust into monsters.